You all must be wondering, what exactly is society-pleasing template? Honestly, it is quite difficult to sum up all the qualities that are required to become a society-pleasing person. But, to begin with, I must say that a person who follows all the unwritten rules of the society, who behaves and talks in a certain way, who dresses up and has the perfect shape of their body as told by the world are considered to be pleased and applauded by the society. Especially when it comes to the females, the rules of the society become far more harsh, inflexible and judgmental. Now, coming to the society-pleasing body standard, it basically means the perfect shape of your body which according to the “society” defines your beauty and even your future. Having the most perfect height, balanced weight, perfect size of the breasts, perfect face structure and features, perfect body language, perfect hair, and even the perfect skin colour is what defines your success or future. These templates are so deeply inherited in us by our own family members or people around us that even we see our body as a flaw and never embrace it if it doesn’t match these templates. It is a constant fear in our minds that we might not look good if we’re not having that “perfect” body. There is always a constant pressure we feel while facing people in a gathering especially when the room is filled with our own RELATIVES, who are the masters of such judgements.
You all must be thinking why I mostly rant about my life in my blogs, it’s because firstly my writings are the only way I can express myself and secondly, I know I am not the only one facing these judgements on a daily basis. So, here I am with yet another blog wishing to change at least one person’s way of thinking through my writing.
Coming back to the topic, I want everyone who’s reading this to be honest with themselves and think how many times you must have cursed your body because it didn’t look a certain way. We consider it so normal that we never even thought about how badly we are treating our own self. If you’re fat, you’re often told to start a certain diet plan, go running, go to the gym and do what not to lose those inches despite knowing the complete issue of gaining weight. If you’re thin, you often get asked why you don’t eat enough just to increase those inches or get mocked ruthlessly. To be honest, whatever body shape you are in, not everyone is gonna be happy about it. There will be people to say things to you no matter what you become. So my main point is, why do we have to listen to these people, why do we have to please them and why do these people matter to us? Cut-off from such people if their comments bother you, ignore these people if you want to live a mentally stable life and answer back at them when required. I know these people are mostly relatives who judge us and pass mean comments about our body, but following the quote “ignorance is bliss” is the best you can do to avoid such people. I hope that my relatives, whom I am talking about in this blog, read this!
What exactly makes a society? We make the society around us. The people we know, the people we are related to, the people we are acquainted with; makes a society. These are the people who’ve made the unrealistic rules and standards that they believe should be followed in order to be acceptable amongst them, otherwise you will either get harshly mocked or get judged about it. The mean comments will be showered on you no matter at what age you are, what state of mind you are in or what disease you are dealing with. They’ll start giving you free advice about what should be done to get back in shape. I have dealt with this too, and honestly their comments, their advice or their judgements never mattered to me. So, my advice to all of you dealing with this is to stop getting bothered by what others think of you, if you are healthy on the inside then it doesn’t matter what shape you have. They didn’t create you, God did! He created you unique because he considered you flawless and beautiful, so you think the same about yourself. Other people’s thinking is none of your concern.
These unrealistic rules regarding one’s body have taken a toll on everybody’s mind. No matter if you’re short, tall, skinny, fat, dark-skinned or “shapeless” ; there are plenty of people who’re desperate to mock, judge and comment on you. There are several products available in the market which guarantee you to become flawless. Never fall in the trap of these products, they will end up lowering your confidence and self-esteem. I know, being happy and confident in your own skin can be tough for many people but I think that everyone should always try to attain this no matter how much time it takes.
And now, some people might think that I am promoting an unhealthy lifestyle by embracing every body-type. So to clarify my blog so far, there is a very big difference in being body-positive and being unhealthy. This is something which half of the population is still confused about. Being body-positive and embracing every body-type means that you are working on improving yourself physically and mentally and also being perfectly comfortable in your own skin. Whereas, being unhealthy simply means that you are too lazy to work on yourself to live a better lifestyle. Models, creators and actors with body-types other than the “perfect” one, get heavily trolled on social media platforms regarding their appearance. From where the thoughts have come in the heads of these trollers? It all comes from what we learn from our society, our surroundings and what thoughts were inherited to us in our childhood. These trolls only lead to mental instability, inferiority complex, under-confidence and insecurities regarding our own bodies. Some might lead to a traumatic incidence, which may stay lifelong.
People who judge others just by the shape of their bodies, should consider knowing that person first. Many people who are fat or skinny deal with diseases which become one of the causes of how they look no matter how active they stay. I have PCOS which is one of the major causes of my weight gain. I always try to follow a good lifestyle and stay active but I still have fat on my body. As I said before, I now have started to love my body the way it is because I know how hard I work to improve my body and mind’s health. By this I just want to address that, it’s your decision regarding how you want your body to be. No one else is allowed to give you free advice regarding this. And if they say that they are judging/commenting/giving free advice to you because they care for you, better tell them not to care.
Changing your body won’t make you feel loved or respected, but loving yourself will. I know talking about self-love and self-acceptance is far easier than actually practicing it. It took me so long to accept how I look and I am still trying hard to deal with many body image issues. It takes time, effort, patience and a lot of positive thinking. Also remember, that being body-positive doesn’t give you license to live a lazy and bad lifestyle. Work on yourself, stay active, calm your mind, be productive and live your life without giving any second thoughts about your body shape and what others think of it. Build your own world, surround yourself with like-minded people and learn to get unbothered with people’s opinion on you. I hope this blog made it easier for you all to ignore those unrealistic body standards and live life to the fullest!
